I met Karen Smith while I was attending Montego Bay High School. I will never forget the smile on her face each time she saw me. We had the pleasure of her singing for us occasionally at devotion. One day I was lingering outside, waiting for class to finish because I hated history. She told me nicely, with a gentle touch, to find my class. There are just some people whose very existence just makes a difference in the lives of others without much effort. I don't think I went back to class, but I carried her smile in my head that day.
Over 30 years later, I went to visit my aunt at a nursing home and there she was with her mom. She was singing. I passed them a few times just to make sure it was them. I thought it was surreal seeing them, just when I published my first book, In Search of Self that talked about my experience at Montego Bay High. Being the angel that she was, she brought a few of my books, and arranged for her mother to be at my book signing the next day. What a woman!!!!!
A few weeks ago I reached out to her via Facebook messenger, telling her that my second book was ready. She did not respond. I also noticed that she had not commented on any of my posts in a long time. I usually don't trip over likes or comments from people, but it seemed weird that she didn't respond. My first thought was that maybe Mrs. Smith (her mom and my past principal) was sick. I also wondered if she was just busy. Then my selfish human side kicked in and wondered if she no longer liked the things I posted. I wondered if it was because I cursed a few times on my page, and that was not becoming of a past Montego Bay High School girl. Anyway, I figured she would respond when she was ready. She did tell me to keep in touch.
Humans can really be selfish with their thoughts. I never thought for a moment that she could be going through something herself. While I was here getting worked up about the reasons I thought she didn't respond, she was battling cancer. When I woke up to the news of her death, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt awful that I didn't even know that she was sick. Oh what Mrs. Smith must be going through!
Our song bird left us. Life gave her to us and life took her away. I am glad I had the opportunity to see her again. I am glad we crossed paths. I am glad I got to share the very space she was in, and it was more than once. She was just a beautiful being. I am trying to find the life lesson in this, and the only thing I came up with is that we shouldn't be selfish in our thoughts and actions. I could very well have messaged her when I didn't hear back to ask if she was okay. Maybe she would have responded, maybe not, but I didn't ask. I didn't think of asking. My thoughts were selfishly occupied.
Do not assume anything when you haven't heard from someone. Each of us has our own battles. Be kind with your thoughts. RIP Song Bird.
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