Growing up, no one taught me that service to humanity, self-actualization, healing from past pain, and forgiving was all a part of being successful. People saw success as achieving something out of life. Where I grew up, the emphasis was on finishing high school, or college if you had a little more money. Then it’s on to finding a decent job and maybe owning a home. That was the real success in the eyes of the community and our family. Nothing was said about giving back some of what was given to you so others may have a chance too. Nothing was said about working on self.
I did all of that, and more but something was missing. I never felt complete or like I was truly successful, because other areas of my life seemed to be upside down. I had all kinds of issues; low self-esteem, trust issues, anger issues, friends and family issues. I was miserable on the inside because I carried a lot of baggage from the past. So even though things seemed good on the outside; the house the car, the college degree….There was turmoil on the inside. I was fighting a battle no one could see but me.
After years of being miserable, I knew I needed to do something different. I needed to make different choices for myself, I needed to work on finding the root-cause of my unhappiness. I was tired of feeling like I wasn’t good enough. You know what's funny? How I thought that achieving all the other things would make me feel better about me. The truth is, they didn’t. Once I started digging deeper, I realized that I was my own enemy, because I carried things that weren’t even worth carrying. I blamed others for my own silly mistakes. I carried people who treated me poorly, not realizing that they were also hurting, and in turn hurt others. Actually, I did the same thing. So, I made a conscious effort to forgive myself and others in order to feel peaceful on the inside.
Getting to that frame of mind was the best decision of my life. There was such a calmness within me that made everything and everyone look better. All of a sudden, I felt sorry for the people I thought were pure ugly. I found a way to connect with people I thought I would never speak to again. That doesn’t mean that I have totally disregarded everything that everyone has ever done to me. It just means I was able to understand their behaviors, which made it easier to deal with. The most important part was learning to love myself. Once that happened, everything else was easy.
As for the service to humanity part, I am convinced that by giving to others, you are giving to yourself. The universe finds a way to give back to you and your loved ones the desires of your heart. It’s no wonder the word GIVE is also in FORGIVE. They go hand in hand, and that my friends, is what being truly successful is. Live, love, laugh, and give.
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